Tell me

Tell me it's not true
Tell me you weren't there
Tell me that's not you
Tell me like you care...

What can you tell me that will ease my pain?

You're so very special.
I wish I was special.
But I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here.
I don't belong here...

A few years older but none the wiser

Well its been a while.

Why do I find myself thinking how this relationship would go on?
Why do I have to try to silence my thoughts again?

I have always lived by the rule that if you don't like something about someone, always talk things out with the person first. So I did. But time after time, I don't see what has changed. So what do I do now? Bury it at the back of my mind again? Is there a limit to what I'll have to bury behind there? Will there be a stop to all the things I have to ignore you do or say?

I see it as a problem that u created. You made me not trust you. All I did was to look at your messages. So I feel that it is your responsibility to get my trust back. I did my part of telling you how I feel about him. But every time I do, you get frustrated. Why? And then nothing gets settled. No change. No difference. You still go out with him.

Am I not enough?
Am I not needed?
Did I have an expiration date when u wanted to be with me?
Am I not all you wanted me to be?
Did you regret?

You don't seem to know how much this is affecting me.
Oblivious to my feelings, you seem happy. You don't seem to know how I feel. How alone I feel.

Do I hide this at the back of my mind again? Suppress my emotions again? So much to hide under a smile. Will it ever get better?

Why are so many questions unanswered?

11/11/11

Wow, been a while since I was here.

Its 11.11.11 today, anybody think its special? No offense but i think its just a cool number. Everyday should be a special day dontcha think?

Poly 50 on wed! SPA got 9th, 7th and 3rd place! Damn awesome! But it really is depressing when almost everyone in your club achieved something but you didnt. I didnt run. Its my last year and i didnt run. I didnt realise how dissapointing that sounds until the whole thing was over. Awesomely dissapointing.

Basketball competition today.
Well, we beat all the other teams except for 2. One was my junior's team. He grew taller so I couldnt reach the ball haha. And the last team with the infinite fouls. We always had the luck of being so close but in the end it doesnt matter. In a game, its all or nothing. There is no half-assed shot. We got 4th place. So close, but still doesnt matter in the end.
Awesomely dissapointing.

Sad to say thats not all. 2 years. Things have to change.
I'll have to change it myself if it cant. Humans are selfish beings. Everything they do is for their benefit. If not, they will learn to stop doing it. Its not easy but, I guess its for the better? Is it?
Its getting harder to live without regrets.

So, 11/11/11 eh? Whats so good about you?

"What happened?"
"Life happened"

STONG for the STRONG

I'm back~!
Back from STONG

Long climb and trek. Fun and quite the experience really. Yes there were hardships but ultimately I think its quite a slack climb =) Summit picture isnt really worth posting. But I guess the journey itself was worth it. Perfect example of why its about the journey, and not the destination.

Climb over huge trunks, slippery slopes, muddy ground, walk over the length of a fallen tree...

Had too make a shelter for the hammocks we sleep in. Since we're stacking hammocks above each other, the shelter must be bloody high. So I became the human ladder...
Darn it, Vincent aint that light either. Back aches~!

Theres a hole off the cliff of the waterfall. I think its a pretty good place to slack there but...
when a flash flood comes, I'd be dead.
A little drizzle on the mountain would result in a flash flood so.... haha
I like this picture! Pang looks soooo much smaller here.... oh well...Beautiful view, trust me it looks better in real life. SPA, we look forward in life....
well, except Vincent who just looks back and smile creepily...
A smaller waterfall up the mountain where we refill out bottles. Water there is drinkable and cold. The best =)
As usual, it wouldnt be SPA if there isnt some stupid shots haha
Waterfall there is bloody freezing cold.... Balls just shrank in the water to the size of marbles. Too bad we didnt have enough time to play slide off the slope.
Best shot in the KTM train. What can I say, with crazy people, a more nicer shot is practically impossible to take haha.
Well, I guess thats it for STONG? We did some caving, exploring caves and IVE BEEN TO GUA KRIS BEFORE! And psshht, leeches at Stong is small compared to the ones that ATTACKED me in my secondary school leadership camp haha. True story.




Anyways, its been quite a while. 8days plus? Its just feels different when I've never seen this Apple for so long. Just some things that no one else can do and she can do quite easily. Shes the sweetest thing on earth. Gonna run to another country with her tomorrow and 2 best buddies of mine. Well, we're gonna have a blast and no ones gonna stop us =)

Next To You

You've got that smile,
That only heaven can make.
I pray to God everyday,
That you keep that smile.

A Smile

Days been passing by too fast. Having too much fun though exams are coming. Should I be guilty?

Before anything, check this out. Hahahaha! I like the way they say its GLORIOUS! hahaha!

Brought a bunch of crazy people to PM~
First time I tried to teach a roll without the basics. Very hard... obviously? But what to do, some people dont wanna admit that they havent master the basics. Haha, everytime they (tried) to roll, I already expect them to fail. Eskimo bow rescue also not there....
Like I said, crazy =] Feels like Sports Elective cause Tzelam was there and her weird attempts to take pics haha. Sad that she'll be going back Hong Kong soon =/


Night cycling~! the other 3 spoil the boyband shot sia! haha!
Copying his trademark pose.
Was kinda fun, but i think the pace was abit too slow. Long stretches of road to speed would be nicer =)
Nice picture? Cause the photographer is awesome =)
Went to fly a kite with pretty eyes. Kinda disappointing that day, nothing went right you see. But oh well~
The kite was awesome. Its HUGE! Made me think about getting a BIGGER kite and see if it could lift me up =D But first, needa find a string that doesn't keep breaking -.-

Side-tracking : If a solar eclipse is the moon in front of the sun, Lunar eclipse means the sun goes in front of the moon?

Had a BBQ yesterday night. Shag. Went all around my condo like a ninja to find this couple.... haha! Feel like a kid though.

Do you know what I crave? I crave to have a serious conversation with you. Where I can calm my heart down enough so that I wont have to make a joke to cover up moments when I have nothing to say. Where my mind is not so cluttered so that I can just say what I really mean.
I'm imperfect.

To you~ =)

Its only words,
And words are all I have to take your heart away.

Friends

PANTHERA

Dinner outing at Fish & Co with these baskets. Awesome time =]


I like it that in some ways, they can do stupid things haha. Makes sense?
There was SPAC gathering on friday. Imagine, 28 batches of adventurers in one room. Epic? Feels damn awesome when so many people with the same interest are there. All of them are the happy-go-lucky kinda people who are damn on!
SPA - Once an adventurer, forever an adventurer.

Hi, its been around 5 years? Things change, and so did you. I thought at first that it might be fine. But I guess I was naive? I don't live to please you, as a friend, I'm here. But as a friend, can you listen once in a while? You were the one who taught me a lot of things and made me who I am today. But you don't practice what you teach no more.

On a side note, I also hate it when close friends of mine say something like "I bet no one in the world would care if im gone" or anything along that lines. I'm like, "Dude, the person who will be bothered is right in front your face." But then again, it'll make me think.
Maybe to them I'm nothing?


Yeah, thats kinda the face I'd give.... http://imgfave.com/view/1387141

When you're angry, you have the right to be angry, but never the right to be cruel

SPA GRADS

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'd be lying if I said graduation day doesn't matter to me this year.
Every year, even though its not me, its still sad to see people leave.

Epic expressions haha.

NJ~ It's been a short, but sweet time.
All the best in your future END DEH VOSS. Haha, doesnt matter if I don't spell it right, I bet she still wouldnt know what it means haha. Her english no power... =P

You made me smile.
No, more than that

BIA! Back-In-Action

What do you think?
Personally I think its true. If its rare, its more meaningful isnt it? Just my point of view, dont need to whack my head for it!

ANYWAYSSSS
Alot of stuff been happening, and as you can see from the previous post, I'm just too lazy and tired to post properly -.-
Lets see if I even remember how to do a proper post....

Well first of all, I found out again that really, alot of people are stalking me haha. I'm talking about you who read this. See my Cbox on the right? ITS DEAD! And I totally dont give a damn, so i thought no one's reading. Then slowly, one by one people complain I dont update haha. Its like 30+ people please! Can make a class! When I blog, like no one read. Ass-es....

Theres this gym in the CLS block which is generally out of bounds. State of the art equipments. Ever seen a guy with respirator running on treadmill? Yeahh, as cheem as that. Well, now I'm allowed to! Selected people only kkay! Technically, our own personal GYM!
Check out Thunder and Lightning AHAHAHA!
Going there tomorrow, every tuesday. Kenny is supposed to be our instructor assigned, but we're already veterans in the gym haha! Imagine his face when we told him we dont usually have breaks in between sets.... Sorry, gym-junkie talking here. xD

JUST RECENTLY!
Freshman Oreiantation Camp Outing~! AWESOME!
But then again, expected haha. The camp is awesome, the people are awesome, so what else do you expect?

If you missed it, (like Carin) this are some of the thing you missed haha!
Pardon my expression, we were trying to do a 4-man-tall structure! This was one of the successful ones! Our camera-woman damn lousy! Haha kidding, she took the picture but never tell us, then the people carrying the heavy load get tired while waiting for her....
Can you imagine there were people who waited for us, and took pictures of us while we were doing this. HAHA! Me and some of the guys at the base were shouting "ALL IS WELL!" again and again cause its actually quite heavy. Everyboday began to chant the same thing, and..... yeah... attract too much attention? haha! My back and neck kinda ache after that =/

Apparently no one can do this, other than me haha! Kenny tried, but not stable (I think I know too many "Kenny"s) Check out Fauzi's face.
NONOGAN! Talk so much, sure kena throw in the water la... They threw me in the water when I just came down too, hence no pics hahaha!
Our lousy camera-woman! My hair like James Bond sio... hahaha!
I think this pic is kinda awesome!
Throwing Raja in, I heard from Amman that he takes 2 hours to get ready, 1 to bathe and 1 to change i guess....? Like girl sia... haha!

I got awesome juniors ;D
Amman, helped me jailbreak my phone and taught me everything there is to know!
Free service, with a smile =D
Shronn, was on msn with her last night at like 1am? She can make me laugh at my screen haha! Somehow when I talk to her I feel like a girl xD Long story. But of course, in real life, she'd be the one who cant stop laughing ;D I'm just too pro~ Dragonboat girl, and Glen's brother's friend lol. Small world.
Ahh! Carin! Shes cute, I'd give that to her but she self praise alot! Found out shes in basketball too, but totally cannot tell by her looks haha.

Getting my virgin Polaroid picture this thurs! At least I hope =X I heard the films are expensive..... Guess I gotta practice smiling at the mirror before thursday cause there's no second try! =/

Made 2 new friends today lol! Nicole, she's Jondave's church friend. Apparently according to her, I'll be a good base for cheerleading cause my shoulders are broad and I got the strength ^^
Yes, I look like this
Easier for people to step on -.-"

The other person is the aunty cleaning the basketball court and stadium. Haha weird right? I had 2 hours to kill, so i got 2 breads and went to the stadium. After too many pull ups, I sat down watching the field eating bread (damn no life i know -.-) She came and was like...

Aunty : You eat uh? Eaat gooooood? (haha yes she talked like that)
Me : yeah, haha
Aunty : Yaa.... goooood....
Me : aha... yeah....
Aunty : Eat goooood!
Me : *offer her the other bread* you want one?
Aunty : *points to the bin* You eat uhh. Eatt good gooooood (I'm guessing she's asking me to throw away the rubbish hahaha)
Me : OHH! yeah! Okay!

haha! epic seriously. I gave her the other bread in the end haha. She sat with me and told me about her daily job lol. How did we communicate? Apparently she knows malay HAHAHA!
Yes, shes chinese.

Oh gosh, its 2am!
Gym at 8 tmr! Die...

P.S. My hair is epic now ;D

And I thank you for
the love you gave to me
Gone so young - Amber Pacific

SPA FOC 2011! Biggest success! It was not only great, it was AWESOME! BEST FOC I've been to so far. Really proud of the com members. =]
Too lazy to type anymore lol

Check out the sleeve, I think my name is abit small =(

ELBRUS! BEST. GROUP, EVARRR!!!
As usual, stupid stuff we do =]

Well, what else is there to say? FOC 2011 deserves a handstand too =]